Sometimes words spin around in my head and even spill out of my mouth before others have finished speaking. When I do that, I’m barely listening to them. It feels almost like I’m in a competition to get my thoughts out quickly to make sure that I will be heard.

This is something I’m not proud of.

My words provide a confirmation to the world of how I see others and, maybe more important, how I see myself. To the extent that I’m responsible for shaping the world around me, words are a powerful asset, enabling my thoughts to manifest into my reality.

If I believe that words hold such power, and I do, then I must learn to treat them with the honor and respect they deserve. I must become more mindful of the words I use. And I must consciously choose the words I speak.

Be impeccable with your word is the first and most significant of Don Miguel Ruiz’s powerful Four Agreements. He says impeccability of the word is the single most important key to personal freedom.

But what does it mean for me to be impeccable with my word?

I’ll begin with what it does not mean. Imagine I’m in a heated argument with you and I say, “Let me tell you my truth.” It’s likely I’m voicing the opinions and beliefs about the situation I want you to hear, not the truth. When I’m impeccable with my word, I don’t need to defend what I’m saying with false claims of “truth.”

The term impeccable derives from the Latin word impeccabilis, a combination of the Latin prefix in-, meaning “not,” and the verb peccare, meaning “to sin.”

So “impeccable with my word” means to not sin with my word.

Did you know that sin, as defined in the original translations of the Bible, means “to miss the mark” or to fail to achieve what was intended?

All too often, I have missed the mark with my words.

In an archery competition, the target is sometimes a steel buck with a small square hole where the deadly shot would be on the prey. A target is placed behind the hole to stop an arrow that goes through it. If I miss the square hole, I never get to shoot that arrow again because it hits the steel plate, which destroys the arrow.

Similarly, when my words miss the mark, I never really get to take them back and try again.

So how can I learn to be more impeccable with my words?

Don Ruiz says being impeccable with my words means using them in the direction of truth and love for myself as well as others.

That’s a worthy goal, but I need to break it down into actionable guidelines if I am to make any progress toward that end. Here are two things that I believe will help me move toward becoming more impeccable with my word:

1. Pausing before speaking

This pause for me is mostly about listening. Listening to the person speaking to me, yes. But maybe even more important, listening to what is going on within me. If I feel agitation — for me, this is usually a tightening of my chest — it’s especially important to pause long enough to breathe into it and allow the tension to soften before I speak.

2. Being mindful that I cannot take it back

We’ve all been there, needing to apologize for saying something that was hurtful or untrue. Even if my apology is accepted, those hurtful words are out there, never to be taken back. They have hit the steel plate, and I cannot retrieve them to try again.

As I become more mindful of these two guidelines, I will grow in my ability to be impeccable with my word. And best of all, I will grow toward ever greater personal freedom.