We need to begin to discuss something we’ve tended to avoid talking about. Let me tell you why.

For a long time, I’ve had this thing called “urge incontinence,” a sudden intense urge to pee for no apparent reason.

It’s not like “stress incontinence,” where one can point to a real, physical reason for the leakage: Weakened pelvic floor muscles fail to hold in the urine when one applies pressure, like coughing or sneezing or laughing too hard. And one can strengthen those muscles by doing lots of Kegel exercises.

What made my bladder fail me was harder to explain: The sound of running water. Putting the key in the door of my home. Getting out of my car. Nearing my bathroom. In fact, any cue that reminded me of urination was enough to trigger leakage.

It was totally embarrassing. It’s little wonder that most of us never talk about this condition to anyone.

This despite the fact that it affects over 10 percent of women of all ages and that it’s the most common form of incontinence for men. Studies have also concluded that urge incontinence tends to be considerably more bothersome and debilitating than similar degrees of stress incontinence.

Also known as “overactive bladder,” urge incontinence has less to do with weakened muscles and more to do with a faulty connection between our bladder and our brain. Like Pavlov’s dogs, the unconditioned response of the bladder to any cue relating to urination is enough to involuntary empty itself.

It seems that it’s all about the brain. If this is so, I reasoned, then hypnotherapy should be able to access my subconscious mind and rewire the brain-bladder connection to produce a healthier conditioned or learned response.

I consulted a gentle and kind hypnotherapist (whose name I can release only with his permission) who provided me with a self-hypnosis CD that I listened to each day. After only three weeks of daily self-hypnosis, I experienced the freedom of bladder control I hadn’t known for decades. And now, many months later, the results remain in place.

Here’s the point of this blog: We must talk about this. There’s no need to continue to suffer in embarrassed silence.

I would love to hear what you’ve learned that might be useful in furthering our understanding of this debilitating condition.