I am struck by the incongruity of this week’s back-to-back rituals: Mardi Gras, a festival of shameless debauchery – often behind masks, and Ash Wednesday, a time of shameful regrets.

The two seem mutually exclusive, don’t they? Mardi Gras’ underlying theme of “laissez les bon temps rouler” (“let the good times roll”) contradicts the next day’s premise of stopping to remember and regret our many failings. Is it human nature to want to indulge in as much hedonistic pleasure as possible before we must face penance and self-flagellation?

I explored the notion of ‘regrets’ in last week’s YouTube episode, Regrets: 3 Life Lessons. I ended by suggesting that instead of tossing away regrets, we might open ourselves to the pain of our regrets, to understand them, and to learn from them. We might embrace the freedom and courage to say, “I got that one wrong,” express remorse, learn from our failures, and only then move on.

Maybe we got the order wrong in this week’s rituals. Maybe, instead of shamelessly indulging in debauchery before regretfully doing penance, we might live more fully from our truest selves if we have the courage to first openly confront our shameful behaviors (which we all have), learn from them, and only then let the good times roll – without hiding behind our masks.

One of my regrets in life is not appreciating my mother when I was young. I was well into adulthood before I recognized this powerful heroine model who had been right there beside me my whole life.

Next Tuesday, on International Women’s Day, we are reminded of the women who’ve modeled for us how to become the best versions of ourselves. My YouTube episode on March 8, Learn, Give…and Give Even More, honors Clara Schmidt, my mother, a truly extraordinary woman.

An anonymous quote says, “A strong woman stands up for herself. A stronger woman stands up for everybody else.”

Clara Schmidt was clearly a “stronger woman.” I hope you’ll visit my YouTube channel, both this week as I focus on what I have learned from my regrets, and next week to hear about three lessons from a remarkable role model, my mother.

What about you? What have you done with regrets in your life?

The photos are of my mother and me during my youth and older age. In which one do I look more masked?