During the past year I have been fortunate to be quarantining with the love of my life, but I know that many of you have been alone, having to rely on yourselves. Whether alone or with your soulmate, I believe self-love provides an important foundation for ourselves and all of our relationships. This week, I shared an article about ways to practice self-love.

But why is self-love so important?

I’ve written extensively about my journey toward reconciliation with my father. Forgiveness and healing between us would have been impossible without my willingness to explore truer versions of myself and without beginning to learn to love all of me, even the dark sides.

Love is ever-present in our lives. It surrounds and embraces us. It acts as a gravitational force, pushing and pulling us in ways we hardly understand on a conscious level. But receiving, allowing, trusting, and participating in love only happens when I call on my truest self. I am learning that I cannot fully give or receive love without first knowing and loving myself, with all of my limitations and flaws. It is a reciprocating process that is mutually reinforcing. When this reciprocal dance of love begins to flow, it brings out the very best in me, and in my connections with loved ones.

Loving myself is not about ignoring my flaws or letting myself off the hook, which my loud self-critic wouldn’t allow in any case! That would be much too easy. Self-love requires the hard work of embracing all of me, the good and the horrible, believing that I can become a better and truer me. I can grow and learn. And through it all, no matter how imperfect I am, I am worthy of giving and receiving love.

As we enter into this Valentine’s season that is all about love, I hope you will join me in re-committing to open ourselves to who we truly are, warts and all, so that we can more fully show up with love for ourselves and others in our lives. After all, our journey would be meaningless without the love that is at the core of the truest version of ourselves.