I’m honored to speak with Dr. Paul Lam on health and wellness issues he has championed for over 40 years. Paul was born in Vietnam but was left as a baby with his grandmother in China. At sixteen, malnourished and arthritic, he escaped to Hong Kong during Chairman Mao’s disastrous regime. From there, he moved to Australia, where he pursued his dream of becoming a physician. In 2010, he and his colleagues established the Tai Chi for Health Institute. His tai chi programs have been used to train over 10 million people around the world.

Paul and I will be discussing a range of topics, such as the nature of relationships, using tai chi practice to create harmony and wellness, and the important role of safety for learning and growth. His long career as a physician and world-renowned tai chi master has given him deep insights into these topics that you won’t want to miss.

You can listen to the full conversation by clicking ‘play’ below, or on the following podcast platforms:

• Apple Podcasts
• Spotify
• Google Play
• Stitcher

Finding Deeper Layers of Ourselves

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The following is just a taste of Paul’s insights.

Q: Based on your experience, what can you tell us that might be helpful to us in moving beyond our own fears and our own sense of powerlessness to create the lives that we truly desire?
Paul: The will to live, to learn and to enjoy life keeps pushing us to work harder and to love others.

Q: What would you say are the most important benefits of practicing tai chi?
Paul: The slow, smooth, movements, and the coordination of body and mind, the right posture and the right breathing all contribute to being mindfully present and that brings a sort of inner strength and an inner serenity.

Q: What have your many years of mindful tai chi practice and training taught you about healing challenging relationships?
Paul: Tai chi practice trains us to listen to the incoming force and then absorb, redirect, or use the opponent’s force to combine with ours to reach a win-win situation. I can translate that to life in our interactions with people. All relationships have to do with interaction.

Q: Based on your experience, what can you tell us about the importance of having a safe place from which to learn and grow?
Paul: The center of emotional security having to do with survival is in our brain stem. Having someone we feel we can trust with our insecurities is a part of survival. It allows us to open up and grow.

When asked if there’s one last thing he’d like our listeners to hear, Paul says, “I would love everybody to think that anyone can do tai chi. Have a go. In Australia, it means have a try.”

About Dr. Paul Lam
A distinguished physician and a world-renowned master of tai chi, Dr. Paul Lam has become an internationally influential advocate of health and wellness. The impact of his tai chi workshops has been remarkable. In 2010, he and his colleagues established the Tai Chi for Health Institute. His tai chi programs have been used to train over 10 million people around the world. The Center for Disease Control, as well as numerous other health organizations, fitness associations, hospitals, universities have supported his tai chi for health programs. According to Paul, the ultimate purpose of tai chi is to improve one’s vital energy. Its principles include mindfulness, moving slowly and smoothly, and exercising in an upright position to strengthen the muscles that stabilize and support the spine.

Paul was born in Vietnam but was left as a baby with his grandmother in China. At sixteen, malnourished and arthritic, he escaped to Hong Kong during Chairman Mao’s disastrous regime. From there, he moved to Australia, where he pursued his dream of becoming a physician. His tai chi programs continue to extend the possibility of greater health and vitality for millions.

Tai Chi for Health Institute

Paul’s Books:
Born Strong: From Surviving the Great Famine to Teaching Tai Chi to Millions

Teaching Tai Chi Effectively: Simple and Proven Methods to Make Tai Chi Accessible to Everyone

Book Mentioned in the Interview:
Love Is Complicated: A True Story of Brokenness and Healing, by Marlena Fiol, which is now available for pre-order on Amazon.

About Marlena Fiol, PhD
Marlena Fiol, PhD, is a globally recognized author, scholar and speaker. She is a spiritual seeker whose work explores the depths of who we are and what’s possible in our lives. Her significant body of publications on the topic, coupled with her own raw identity-changing experiences, makes her uniquely qualified to write about personal transformational change. She is also a certified tai chi instructor and freelance writer whose most recent work has appeared in numerous literary magazines and newsletters.

You can find Marlena in the following places:
https://marlenafiol.com
Facebook
Twitter: @marlenafiol

Podcast Transcript
Below is a complete transcript of the podcast. I used a transcription service to create this, please note that there may be errors. For a 100% accurate quote of what was said, please listen to the podcast itself via the links above.

Marlena: I’m truly delighted to introduce today’s guest, Dr. Paul Lam. Paul was born in Vietnam but was left as a baby with his grandmother in China. At 16, he escaped to Hong Kong during Chairman Mao’s disastrous regime. From there, he moved to Australia, where he pursued his dream of becoming a physician. But throughout all of that, arthritis continued to plague him, and he turned to tai chi for answers. It turns out this changed his life and the lives of millions of others, and I’m grateful to be one of them.

Paul trained for years with tai chi masters and then developed his own tai chi for health programs. In 2010, he and his colleagues established the Tai Chi for Health Institute. His programs have been used to train over 10 million people around the world. The Center for Disease Control, as well as numerous other health organizations, fitness associations, hospitals, universities have supported his tai chi for health programs. Policy author of, “Born Strong: From Surviving the Great Famine to Teaching Tai Chi to Millions” and also, the book, “Teaching Tai Chi Effectively.”

So the theme running through all of our episodes for this podcast season titled, “Becoming Who You Truly Are” is that going through difficulties sometimes, leads us to more fully understand who we are and also to know at a deeper level what’s possible for us. Paul’s incredible journey from a malnourished and arthritic child to achieving his dreams of helping heal himself and millions of others certainly fits this theme. Paul, welcome. It’s an honor to speak with you.

Paul: Thank you, Marlena. It’s a great pleasure to be here.

Marlena: So let’s start from the beginning. Will you please tell our listeners about your painful early life experiences from near death in China, escaping to Hong Kong, and then to Australia?

Paul: Sure. Well, my first memory was with my grandmother, my aunt, and they were very loving. And I got a little older, I suddenly realized what happened to my parents. And then very soon, the communist sort of really pushed forward, and my grandmother was tortured. We were put down in the lowest possible living condition as you can imagine. We are discriminated against for anything. It was really hard to live a life like anyone can step on you. Kids would punch me in school, spit on me, and I come home to tell grandmom and grandmom say, “Oh, stay at home.” So we got this tiny little room. We stay in that little room all the time unless we really have to go.

It was saved by my aunt. My grandmother died from the persecution of the communist soon. And my aunt, she’s just so loving, and she actually nearly died from starvation to save me. She’s got so much love that I think that’s what happened to help me to survive, to grow value for myself. When you’re at the lowest level as a person, when you’re so poor, and it’s love. Love is so strong. So it wasn’t sort of all sad. It’s like a love story. It’s the way I grow up.

Marlena: Wow. So in your book, you talk about feeling trapped and completely powerless during what you referred to as the Chinese midnight terrors when your grandmother was dragged out into the courtyard over and over for savage beatings, and you had no choice but to huddle in a little storage room. It’s unthinkable for us. And your ability to move beyond that level of terror and utter powerlessness to become a successful physician and a world-renowned tai chi instructor, it’s remarkable, and you speak of love. What else can you tell our listeners and me that might be helpful to us in moving beyond our own fears and our own sense of powerlessness to create the lives that we truly desire?

Paul: Well, I shake my head sometimes and I wonder, “How did that all happen?” And I try to see what has happened? Again, I think my aunt’s love made me feel there’s some value in my life. And then, somehow, the circumstances that I was able to escape China. Before that, too, when I have an opportunity to go to school…well, I wasn’t able to get to high school because of our discrimination. But eventually, there’s an opportunity for me to go to a school far from home, and I really seize that opportunity, and I study everything. You know, it was so good to learn things.

So that desire to learn and that inner love that give me inner strength was to think that sort of help me to develop, to grow myself. And then the escape from China was my father’s love. He pay a lot of money to get me out, and I didn’t do anything. There’s nothing I can do, but I was so lucky to get out. And then when I was in different environment, that will to live, to learn, and to enjoy life kind of keep pushing me to work harder, and to love others. Yeah, that’s probably what happened.

Marlena: It’s an incredible story, and I’m hearing three things. I’m hearing someone who loves you and believes in you, a sense of curiosity, and also a will to learn and to work hard, so thank you for that. You write in your book, Born Strong that your intention with the book was to share your life experiences and your belief that no matter how desperate things are, there’s always hope. I’d like to go even beyond that to suggest that suffering can actually sometimes be a stepping stone to unexpected goodness in our lives.

In fact, as you know, the theme of this podcast season is that going through difficulty sometimes allows us to grow into our true selves, which often, we’d otherwise not do. The tremendous suffering early in your life is difficult for me, and I’m sure for most of our listeners to even imagine. In the face of all that pain and suffering, you demonstrated such courage to transform yourself. Looking back now, how did those challenges influence who you are today?

Paul: Well, yeah, I think there’s a Chinese proverb. They say, “A jade is a piece of rough stone. It’s only a lot of polishing, a lot of rubbing, and cutting to make it to be a real precious jade.” I guess we do need challenges in our lives to find more meaning and to see who we are. And sometimes, I wonder whether my circumstances make me what I am or it’s because that will to do something good, also to love myself, to make my life meaningful, that I guess it’s both that my circumstances help me to get that way, but I also want to develop myself, and I wanted to do something good.

Marlena: Yes, so those circumstances can be like the polish that turns a rock into a jade, beautiful stone. That’s great. Over 10 million people around the world have benefited from your tai chi programs. Let’s talk about the beginning of that venture. Can you please tell our listeners about the challenging early years when you were producing the DVDs, and you were searching for video distributors. You were walking the streets with broken-down feet as I recall, cold calling. Tell us about that.

Paul: Well, I was invited to go to UK to judge an international competition for tai chi and, of course, you got to pay your own expense. I never been UK before. So I was a doctor who’s paying mortgage, and it was expensive for me, but I went. I did the judge, and I want to do something with that trip. The major reason was to go there to find distributors for my videos, my tai chi teaching videos, and, you know, the video world is very small. It’s really, really hard to find distributors when you are nobody in that world. And so I was in this bed and breakfast place, a tiny little room, and I made phone calls to many people just off the phone book. And, of course, 95% of them says, “Who are you? Go away.”

And I was a pretty popular doctor. It’s really hard to sit there and get rejected, rejected, and people don’t want to talk to you. That was good challenge. And then eventually, I found three people that I can talk to. And it was so expensive to get taxi, so I walked around to see them. And my shoes wasn’t really fitting that well, so I didn’t realize when I come back after walking whole day that when I take off my socks, there was blood all over my socks. It was just my nail cutting into my feet. I’m a doctor, so no, I didn’t have to do anything. But I told my kids that I shed blood to…

Marlena: So again, what kept you moving forward when you might have simply given it up and gone back to a very successful practice as a physician?

Paul: I think intrinsically, tai chi is so enjoyable for me, and then it really transformed my health. And my aunt who was so loving to me has also the chronic disease. She was weak. She was unwell. She had arthritis. So many things, so somewhere in my mind, I wanted to do something for her. I never really dreamed that I’d become a doctor. But somewhere, I was thinking there will be some miracle, that a miracle drug or something that I can give it to my aunt to make her healthy.

So here I was, I got arthritis, I was not healthy for a young man, and tai chi’s transformed me. And somehow, there must’ve hidden desire, hidden passion to find some magical potion to help other people like my aunt. And I think that’s the driving force. I love tai chi, and I just love to share it.

Marlena: And it shows. My husband, Ed, and I are fortunate to be among the people who’ve benefited so much from your teaching. Ed will be 77 this year, and his balance is still improving. We both have a bit of arthritis, but it doesn’t slow us down. And we attribute much of our good health to regular tai chi practice. Paul, what would you say are the most important benefits of practicing tai chi?

Paul: I think it’s the mind. It’s the feeling of more calm, more serene, and more harmony within our self. Of course, life is full of challenges, but it just make me feel more comfortable with myself, more in the present, in harmony with myself, and that is the mental health. And certainly, the physically, I would most likely be crippled if I didn’t do tai chi, and my immunities improved. That was all part of the damage from malnutrition for many years. And so mental, physical, I guess it’s hard to say which is more important, but the good thing about tai chi is it does both.

Marlena: Yeah, please tell us more about the physical benefits of practicing tai chi.

Paul: Sure. I guess myself is the best example. That I have arthritis since I was 13. And I have a patient who’s born in the same age, same year as me. His name is Phil. I used to tell my patients, “This is my twin brother.” And he have arthritis at 40. I think by the time we were 60, he was practically crippled. And now I’m 71, and I’m still jumping around and very strong physically, very flexible, and travel around the world carrying heavy luggages. And it’s the freedom of able to do what I want to do that is really precious to me.

Marlena: Yeah, and with so many of us aging, can you talk a bit about the falls prevention benefits because they are just enormous, and I want our listeners to hear that.

Paul: Yeah, well, you know, it’s very natural for tai chi people because tai chi is about balance. Balance of body and mind. You and your mind is more balanced. Your body and your walking is more balanced. So everything we do about tai chi is balance mentally, physically. And so it’s so logical that tai chi make us in better balance, and then we’re less likely to fall. But then it go further than that. Of course, the training of tai chi so that your muscles become stronger, and then you always balance yourself, so your sense of balance is so much better that you are less likely to fall.

And the mind, study has shown when people are in fear of falling, especially when people gets older, the more in fear of falling, the more likely they will fall. Whereas, when you have learned tai chi, you feel more confident in your ability to balance. You’re less in fear. And many study has shown that tai chi has reduced the rate of falling for older people by around 70%, 60% to 70%. That’s a huge, huge rate.

Marlena: That’s huge. Yeah, yeah.

Paul: And what’s more, if people have a fall, our study has shown they hurt themselves less.

Marlena: Yeah, yeah, it’s how they fall. Yeah, interesting. So given those staggering positive effects, especially as we age, why isn’t everyone practicing tai chi?

Paul: Yeah, I want to know that, too. I think one of the things is a lot of traditions in tai chi and in teaching from China, people emphasize things are really difficult. It’s hard to learn tai chi. And there are people who emphasize tai chi being a martial arts, and the people not understand how to teach more effectively. And so I use a lot of modern research on coaching and teaching and how people learn best to make the teaching much more enjoyable, much easier to learn. And the other thing is tai chi does have a lot of complexity, especially certain styles are really long and hard to learn.

So what we did is, again, we use medical knowledge, our understanding of tai chi to make it really, really easy to learn. But it’s much more effective for health, so it is easier, more enjoyable to learn. It’s much quicker. And then we also make it accessible for anybody, almost anybody can learn. And we are spreading this news like yourself and many other people who have shared those messages, and that’s why we reach millions. So I think as more people know, “Hey, this is something anybody can learn. I can do it,” and, “Hey, I can get benefit from it, and it’s not hard work. It’s interesting and enjoyable work.”

Marlena: Yes, it is. And just for our listeners, I wanted to say that the teaching method is very well described in the “Teaching Tai Chi Effectively.” And I will have the notes about that book on the show notes. So yeah, this idea that, “I’m impressed with the benefits, but I can’t do that. I’m too uncoordinated.” How often have we heard that? And I just want to ask you because of what you have written, and what you have talked about in your own life that before studying tai chi, you thought of yourself as very uncoordinated and poor at any sports.

And I just want our listeners to hear this. You not only learned many forms of tai chi, you succeeded in winning the highly competitive 1993 International Tai Chi Competition in Beijing. Absolutely phenomenal. So the rest of us clearly, we’re not going to attempt your level of success. But your progress from seeing yourself as uncoordinated to achieving that, it does lead me to ask, is it really true that anyone can learn and benefit from tai chi?

Paul: Oh, absolutely. Well, let me give you two examples. One is one of my student whose sister come and told me, she say, “You know, Kim, he’s terrible in school. He doesn’t do anything well. But when he’s got to do with martial arts and tai chi, he just pick up everything, and he did it so well.” So my take is because he loves it. And that’s what I thought why I did so well because I’m so passionate, and I find it so enjoyable. However, on the other hand, competition is…well, you know, it’s just in that day, there are so many people there, and the judge decided you did better, but it doesn’t really mean that much. It’s really why you did tai chi, and what you get out of it in yourself, for me.

So I think if anybody can think that I’m not learning tai chi to any level, it really doesn’t matter. I’m doing tai chi for myself, so I’m going to feel better about myself. I’m going to enjoy my life more. And this is an exercise that I can enjoy, and it really doesn’t matter I’m good or bad. It’s very good for me, and then it also make me a better person for other people. And if they think about that, they’re not worried about tai chi is good or bad. They just get the benefit.

Marlena: In fact, you’ve created a video titled, “Anyone Can Learn Tai Chi,” right?

Paul: Yeah, yeah.

Marlena: And I will make sure that our listeners know where to get a copy of that as well. So if people want to learn, how would you suggest they get started?

Paul: Well, it’s always nice to find a teacher. And nowadays, they are just about everywhere. There are tai chi teachers. So I think it’s important to find a teacher that resonate with you. So if you can find a teacher near you, go to the class, and ask permission to observe the class, and just see if the ways teach, if the participants, the students, sort of the kind of people you want to be with, and do you feel comfortable with that. And I think that would be a good way to start. If you can’t find a teacher, well, you can certainly try my online lesson or my instructional DVDs or somebody else’s online lessons.

Marlena: Yeah, and I will make sure that all of that information is on the show notes. I’m so glad, Paul, that you mentioned earlier the emotional and mental benefits of tai chi. I think often, we tend to emphasize the physical…and the physical benefits are enormous, and so I don’t want to underestimate those. However, for Ed and me, certainly, the emotional and mental benefits have been every bit as powerful. It’s helped dissolve natural tensions that arise in a relationship, and it certainly deepened the bonds that unite us.

My new book tells a story of reconciliation as you know, particularly between my father and me, which became possible when we finally stopped the head-on use of force against each other. Paul, I’ve heard you speak about deflecting and redirecting the incoming force. What have your many years of mindful tai chi practice and training taught you about healing challenging relationships?

Paul: A lot. Yes, I use it in all different occasions. The key idea in tai chi is an art, while people use it as a martial art. You never really aggressively attack anybody. First of all, we train us to listen to the incoming force and then absorb, redirect, or use the opponent’s force to combine with yours to reach maybe a win-win situation. So when I translate that to normal life, that is when you interact with people. All relationships got to do with interaction.

When they interact with people, instead of being strong about what you feel, doesn’t mean you’re not right, but you don’t need to go front long, show people how strong you feel about something. I think it’s important to listen to people, listen really, really with your heart, so you’ll understand what other person’s view. Then once you understand the other person’s view, then you show a respect to understand that view. And either you change your view or absorb it in such a way that you can put forward your will in a way that is more acceptable because you know where the force coming in.

And I think that’s a way of interaction among people, among communities, among countries that we can listen, less friction but less confrontation but more understanding. After all, I believe, I deeply believe within every human being, there’s kindness, and there’s care. There’s love. Everybody needs that. And if we can understand each other, then I think the world would be a nicer place for everybody.

Marlena: Absolutely. So am I right in understanding that perhaps, all of the books I might read about interacting with more kindness and love and all the therapy I might do is not as direct an experience as the experience of the body learning to deflect and redirect and that that is a more direct way of learning these interactions. Is that what I’m hearing?

Paul: Oh, I wouldn’t like to think that comparisons is what I mean because, you know, there are so many wisdom things, a lot of study on how people think and work, and that certainly… I’m not saying which is better or worse. What I put forward is the idea that it’s not just physical but the mind also work the same way by listening to the incoming force. But your body and your mind integrate in tai chi ways, so we hope to listen to the incoming force with your body, at the same time with your mind, and then absorb it, redirecting, and that is very powerful. But I’m sure the other ways of thinking and interaction has their own wisdom and merit.

Marlena: Yeah, yeah, fair enough. Absolutely. It’s interesting the way you talk about the effect of tai chi on the mind. Often, I’ve heard you talk about clearing the mind. And, in fact, you describe standing in front of 2,000 people on a wellness day in Singapore, and that you manage to clear your mind into upright…I think you said upright awareness. It’s well documented that fear of public speaking which is a… It’s a very common phobia, and it affects so many of us. What can you tell us about clearing the mind, and how tai chi might be helpful in this process?

Paul: Well, that is lots of practice with doing tai chi is about training your mind. So in a way, if we just stand here and say, “Clear your mind,” it can work, or say to yourself, “Relax,” it might work for a few seconds, or… Yeah, to make it really work, it is part of that tai chi. The movement, slowly, smoothly, mindfully, and the coordination of body and mind, and coordination of the whole body, the right posture, the right breathing, and all that just contribute to being mindful and being at the present and that bringing a sort of inner strength, inner serenity that you can sort of switch into that phase, and that’s what I did.

When I feel anxious about public speaking is I stand up like I do my tai chi, and I start switching to the tai chi frame of mind which your mind is clear, but you are not, like, zone out. I’m still there, and I maintain my inner balance. And so I guess it’s all about every tai chi practice helps with that process. And then when you are confronting the public speaking, then it can come to as easier if we use our tai chi practice.

Marlena: Yeah, I use the public speaking as an example, but we are desperately in need of inner serenity in our world today. So I think that the message is extremely important for any of us. Thank you for that. Paul, both you and I grew up with multiple cultural identities. I grew up in a Low German Mennonite culture within Paraguay, South America and then moved to the U.S. when I was 19. You were born in Vietnam. You grew up in a Chinese culture. I think your grandfather had eight wives, consistent with Chinese custom. Is that right?

Paul: Right. Yes.

Marlena: That’s good. All right. And you escaped to Hong Kong, and you’ve lived in Australia for decades now. And you, of course, travel around the world regularly. My question to you is how have the multiple cultures affected the way you define yourself, the way you think about yourself? Maybe beginning with your young self in China and then fast-forward to today. Over time, how have you thought about yourself in the midst of all of those cultures?

Paul: Well, yeah, it’s amazing how we have similar background in a different way. And I think this challenge has kind of forced us to go deeper in yourself, to find resources to work with the challenging situation. So when I was in China, it was, in a way, simple just trying to survive and trying to hide away from people. And then going to Hong Kong is a totally different environment so different culture, environment kind of forced me to learn, force me to dig inside myself to find who I am, how I’m going to adapt to this situation. By doing that, I find deeper layers of me, and I’m able to understand myself better or rather understand what I want to be better.

Marlena: Yeah, and I assume that that has shifted over time.

Paul: It has. It’s interesting. I went back to China years later, and I found that it’s… China, of course, went through poverty and the great famine. My classmates went through that, and then when they got better and they get quite prosperous, then they accepted those signs of showing off their wealth, in a way, order a lot of food. That’s wasting but showing that they’re wealthy now. And whereas, we from the West, we care about not wasting things. Well, actually my circle of people, we care about environment and not wasting. And I got into trouble when I’m trying to share that idea with my friends back home.

And then I look back at the different culture and what it is, then I realize by being exposed to different culture, then I realize, yes, all of us do actually care about the environment. And we do wanted to contribute and care about the world for the next generation. It’s just that sometimes we got blurred by depressing situations and got tempted by position or money and forget the long-term things.

Marlena: Paul, I just caught you saying back home. Where’s home?

Paul: Home is Australia. But I guess it’s wrong for me to say, but I grow up in China. So when I went back to China, I was there for 16 years. In Australia and here, 53 years. This is my home.

Marlena: Yes, but there is still something about the home of our childhood that I think remains with us, doesn’t it?

Paul: Absolutely, yes. Yeah.

Marlena: What would you say have been the challenges of being as multicultural as you have been?

Paul: Well, number one, I think the most obvious is the language. And for someone who used to be very quiet, I really am introverted. I really enjoy communication. And it’s really hard to communicate when you don’t know the language.

Marlena: Language. Yep, yeah.

Paul: Yeah, so that has been a very challenging thing. I went to Hong Kong, and I don’t know the local dialect. So it’s just like I was in a foreign country. And, of course, coming to Australia I didn’t know English, and it’s so nice to be able to communicate.

Marlena: Yeah, yeah, I also interviewed another person for this podcast season, who also grew up with many cultures, Mary Lou Bonham, and actually, she happens to be my sister. But I interviewed her for this show, and what she said about that is that I’m comfortable across many cultures, but I’m at home in none.

Paul: Oh, wow, that’s interesting. Well, when I go back, my relatives and friends told me I have a strong accent, even though my mother tongue was the local dialect. And, of course, my English have an accent. And in that sense, I’m like your sister. I’m not at home in any, because I have an accent, whatever language I speak.

Marlena: No matter where you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Paul: But I’m at home in Australia. This is my home.

Marlena: Yes, yes. Paul, you say in the forward to your book that you are grateful to Hazel Thompson, your partner for creating a safe place in your heart that helped stimulate your thinking, and it allowed you to bring forward your painful past without rekindling all kinds of feelings of insecurity. Similarly, my husband, Ed, has created such a safe place for me to heal painful wounds from the past. And that’s allowed me to continue to explore who I am and maybe more importantly, who I can become. So based on your experience, what can you tell our listeners about the importance of having a safe place from which to learn and grow?

Paul: Well, great. She used to add that is so nice to have that partner. And, well, you know, one of my friend, Lucy Brown is a professor who studies neuroscience. And she told me about that the very deep relationship, close relationship that sometimes, people call it deep love, but it is a deep relationship that is controlled by the brain stem. The center is in brain stem where it’s got to do with survival. So what I understand is that having a place to trust someone that you feel very close to and you feel that you can trust your insecurity with is a part of survival.

It’s a very important part of the way we evolve. So I can’t say how important it is and how lucky it is for you and me to be able to have a partner who you feel safe to expose your weakness, and they’re able to open up and grow. Because most people are not interested to hear about starvation, they don’t want to hear about how people kick you around and how poor things can be. You need someone who really care about you to be able to see you and not seeing that as something make you a lower person but rather make you a person like everyone else.

Marlena: That’s right. I love the way you said trust our insecurities with. I translate that to vulnerability and to be able to have someone or some persons in your life with whom you can be vulnerable is so important. Would you say that it’s possible that tai chi itself can serve as a safe foundation for us to learn and grow?

Paul: Absolutely. Well, I like your translation too, by the way, about what I just said. Yes, well, because tai chi has definitely helped me to feel what it’s like to stand upright and look at somebody with eye level and be able to observe and listen and not looking down or not looking up but just being happy to be myself. And that definitely is a cornerstone or a building block to overcoming insecurity.

Marlena: Yeah, yeah. Paul, I’m sure that you’ve personally flown more miles to teach tai chi than anyone ever. Sadly, there will come a time when you’re no longer able to do this. Of course, I know this won’t happen for a long, long time. But what are you doing at this point to ensure that the impact of your valuable work will continue far into the future?

Paul: Well, thank you for that. Yes, I really agree with you. I intend to keep this going for a long time, but it has to end sometime. And so I realize I am 71, so I have been trying to document my words through the instructional DVDs and through the online lessons and to share that with as many people as possible, especially people who teach tai chi. They sort of share it with more people, so that is what I’m doing. This is my mission and my vision for the rest of my life.

Marlena: That’s great. And again, I will provide information to our listeners about the online lessons and also about where to buy your books. But if there were one last thing you’d like our listeners to hear, what would it be?

Paul: I would love everybody to think anyone can do it, have a go. In Australia, it means have a try.

Marlena: What a great ending, “Have a go, have a try.” I’ve been speaking with Dr. Paul Lam, world leader in the field of tai chi for health improvement and author of “Born Strong: From Surviving the Great Famine to Teaching Tai Chi to Millions.” Details about how to contact Dr. Lam and where to purchase his books can be found on the show notes. And thank you, our listeners for joining us today. Please consider sharing this interview if you know someone interested in learning more about tai chi, radiant health, and wellness. We are together on this journey. Thank you, Paul, for joining us today.

Paul: Thank you, Marlena. It’s been so fun talking about…and talking to you. You really understand so much. It’s a pleasure.