A few days ago, I shared some of the unhealthy aspects of my Enneagram type, the “8.”
If you want to know what your Enneagram type is, you can take a very brief test here.
We’ve all experienced unhealthy levels of our type, but none of us needs to stay stuck there. In fact, the real power of the Enneagram is that it provides a roadmap that can lead us toward ever-higher levels of awareness and health.
To begin that journey, we must first face the dark side of ourselves. One of my teachers said, “If you don’t weep with shame when you think about your Enneagram type, you haven’t yet identified what your type really is.”
The Enneagram heightens awareness of our unconscious motivations for getting our needs met. It offers a way for us to observe (often with considerable embarrassment) our whacky ego flailing around to get what it thinks it needs.The system then gives us a vision of more conscious and healthier manifestations of our type.
Here’s a glimpse of what three health levels might look like for an “8.” You can learn about different levels of health for your Enneagram type here.
At my unhealthiest level, my largely unconscious motivation is the desire to survive and protect myself at all costs. I feel that the world has rejected and betrayed me. Being brutal and harsh seems to me the only way to survive. I trust nothing except my own wits.
At a somewhat healthier level, my motivation, still mostly unconscious, is the desire to acquire the resources I need to maintain my self-image as leader and protector of others. I still see myself as completely self-sufficient.
At my healthiest level, I’m consciously motivated to be in sync with the flow of my life, rather than fighting it, and I have faith in its unfolding. I let go of the belief that I must always be in control of my environment, and open myself vulnerably to others.
Your levels of health will look very different than mine, because the basic motivations of each Enneagram type vary. But it seems that 1) facing ourselves honestly and 2) showing up vulnerably with others are necessary for any of the nine types to move toward health.
Of course, vulnerability is inherently risky. When were you most vulnerable in your life? How’d it turn out?
Stay tuned for some thoughts about the risks and payoffs of vulnerability in my next blog.
It is risky to be vulnerable. There were times as a child when I so embarrassed myself by being open with others that I was alienated and deeply lonely as I exposed myself emotionally and found no one else who seemed to understand and appreciate my inner self. As I’ve grown older the wider range of people with whom to connect has made the payoffs of being vulnerable more evident. From my perspective, truly close connections are not possible without mutual vulnerability. People who do not want this level of connection move away and people who do wish for it come closer.
From my perspective, the real risk is to not be vulnerable. An ongoing question for me remains how and when it’s appropriate to introduce increasing levels of vulnerability into a relationship.
How have you found it most effective to deal with the issue of vulnerability?
Thank you, my dear. Your comment relates exactly to what I’m writing for tomorrow’s blog post…about trust.
“At my healthiest level, I’m consciously motivated to be in sync with the flow of my life, rather than fighting it, and I have faith in its unfolding. I let go of the belief that I must always be in control of my environment, and open myself vulnerably to others.”
This section sang to me the most. Lovely alignment professionally where I have the pleasure of working with Pat Lencioni and his colleagues. Vulnerability and humbleness are much of their leadership work and it helps me put these ideas into a frame where I can still see success, but in a more positive light.
Terri, so great that you’re experiencing this professionally. I’ve learned whatever little I’ve experienced of truly “letting go” in my personal life, probably because I have such a true and loyal life partner. I’m afraid I usually was not very humble in my professional life!!