I’m an “8” on the Enneagram

The powerful, dominating type.

The type everyone loves to hate.

At an Enneagram retreat a few years ago, we were put into groups according to our type. Each group had the opportunity to sit in the middle of a circle and communicate to the others at the retreat what it felt like to be who they were.

As each group vulnerably presented themselves to the room, there were some touching moments. Even tears. Sometimes laughter, as people told their stories. When it was time for my group to share what it feels like to be an “8,” loud boos and hisses arose from the people around us. It seemed that everyone there remembered being hurt by an “8” at some point in their lives.

It’s true. We “8s” want a lot out of life and feel fully able and willing to go out and get it. At our worst, we can become highly combative and intimidating in our pursuit to getting our way, often creating adversarial relationships. Then, when others oppose and resent us, and sometimes band together against us, we feel misunderstood and rejected.

And that’s our biggest fear: to be harmed by others.

But you’ll seldom hear “8s” talk about that because we have trouble admitting our vulnerability to ourselves, let alone to anyone else. That would open us to even greater potential harm, and unhealthy “8s” will do almost anything to avoid that.

What’s the Enneagram and how can you find out what type you are?

The Enneagram refers to nine different types, each one representing a way that people tend to think, feel and act in relation to others and themselves. All nine types have a range of healthy and unhealthy behaviors. The typology goes beyond providing insights into personality traits, delving deeper into the core motivations and fears that are often unconscious. It helps us explore why we choose to act in a certain way and why acting in this way is important to us.

Who else, besides me, is thought to be an “8”?

Mother Theresa.

Donald Trump.

Oh, and healthy “8s” have lots of positive traits as well.

Stay tuned, especially if you think you might be an “8” or if you’ve encountered “8s” in your life…